Today was a hard day. There are many things that factor into this and no one area is to blame though I'm putting most of it on work. For the rest of this to make sense, I must write a bit about my day job. I work as a theatre technician. Since my theatre is attached to a University, our busy times are generally from the middle of a semester until the end of it. This translates into right now has gotten very busy. Getting a chance to skate outside of practice in the past two weeks has been difficult. I missed last week's practice due to work and I would definitely rather have been getting my butt kicked in dry land practice than at work.
This past week was a really tough one at work. I had 2 shows, longer days, that I had to work. The other two days were spent setting up equipment in preparation for our opera. A lot of lifting was involved of heavy things and even when you lift from your legs, your back sometimes is involved whether or not you want it to be.
Add on top of this the stress from the week before of playing both myself and my boss as well as the extreme temperature changes (my back doesn't like it when it goes from nice to stupid cold overnight), has for a sore me. In addition to all of the above, I'm now finding opportunities to do dry land type things. I engage my core whenever I possibly can. Instead of bending at the waist to untie my shoes, I will do into a squat and hold it for each shoe. I'd spent most of the past week doing some sort of working out but not nearly enough stretching. I've also quit soda and my eating habits have gotten a bit out of whack (a weird work schedule will do that to a girl).
The sum of all of the above meant that as soon as I started skating, I realized I was sore and tight everywhere and that I really needed to see my chiropractor. We started skating in laps around the entire space (there's an audience/stage area and then the backstage area; when we practice, the curtains are raised and it is one space), which had recently been mopped and was still a little wet. I'm having a real hard time not skating knock-kneed. I need to get some really good arch support which was confirmed as a solution which I'll get into later. Betty, one of my friends who introduced me to roller derby, has threatened to put something (I said I was going to find a midget) to put between my knees to keep them apart. It's one of the biggest things I need to work on and one of the hardest for me.
After some warm-up laps, we broke into our group (pink, blue, scrimmage) and continued warm-ups together. I'm in the pink group, which was oddly small today. We started skating around the track and on a single whistle, we dropped to one knee and popped back up. On a double whistle, we did both knees and then up. After doing that in both directions, we worked on starts from a down position. I fully understand the concepts of all of this stuff and how I'm suppose to do it. However, my body isn't to that point yet. I need to spend a lot more time working on my core and my legs don't just let me pull them up quickly. I fall onto a knee and it takes me forever to get back up or so it seems. This isn't to say that I haven't improved for I have done that. I get up much faster than I use to but today I was winded shortly after we started. I'm not sure if it was the cause of not drinking enough water the last couple of days or what but I was hurting early on.
We then did foot work. We do various agility things. This is part of the building blocks so that we can do awesome things. While I never got this when I was an active music student, I've learned through skating that even when you know you've got something, you still work on it so you can combine all of the muscle memory when it counts. After the first set, Hanna, one of the coaches, came over to talk with me about my knock-kneed problem. She told me that I needed to be really conscious of it as it will help my agility if my knees are kept apart. She told me that this was a big problem for her and that they want to build on good habits. This is where getting better arch supports came in as Hanna told me that she has fallen arches and needs to use high arch inserts to keep things in line. The other recommendation she gave was to do this sort of work with a basketball type object between my legs to help force them apart. I can't build the muscles if I'm not forcing them into the right position a bit.
Despite this putting me way behind the other girls (there are usually more of us too), it was really helpful advice. It's something that I've been hearing from quite a few people but hadn't gotten any solid advice on how to fix it other than to keep working the hip muscles. Now I have a plan to work on getting better. The footwork has gotten much easier than when I was first doing it almost a year ago. I couldn't step without rolling to save my life. Now, I still roll a little but I have much more control. I'm also ridiculously good on my toe stops. We were walking down the line on them when I realized I wasn't doing drum corps (we marched backwards on our toes in my corps) and could get really low while on my toe stops. Lydia actually complemented me on how awesome it was to see me dig in.
We then worked on stops, something that isn't very strong for me yet. Angelfire, another MNRG guest coach of the day, had us start with toe stop stops which none of us ever do. In fact, we've been told to not do it but Angelfire did point out that occasionally you need to be able to do it so we tried. It was the first stop I'd learned over a year ago and hadn't really used it in a long while but it did come back. Not my best stopping technique but far better than my t-stops. I don't know why but t-stops and I don't get along very well. It's not that I don't understand them. I think it's that my feet go stupid. The last time I went skating I was starting to get them down again. Today, it was a struggle as though that last time on skates didn't happen. Stopping with my right foot behind is still my strongest stop which means I really need to work the other side. The last stop and the one I'm best at is the snowplow. I was terrified of this stop when I first learned it and believed that there was no way for me to be able to do it. Then, just before the time of my drama, it became the only stop I could reliably do. That was a really cool feeling. I'm not completely consistent with it yet but I can actually stop with them.
The thing I had most fun with was the sprint starts. I haven't tried running on my toe stops since I was preparing to tryout for NSRGs last summer and I didn't really do it then. This came really naturally and felt awesome. The duck walk starts I wasn't really sure if I was even doing them right. At this point, the fact that I hadn't eaten a lot and that I'd eaten too soon to practice were starting to catch up with me as well as my sore back. I was falling a lot (not really that new) but when I got up (which was a little slower than normal), I was sore in my lower back. I should also mention that I am very well endowed. I'm actually afraid that they have grown again which if they have, I would seriously consider breast reduction surgery. They are heavy and it's hard to get the right stance, for me right now, with them. I know how to stretch out my lower back as it's always been a tight area for me but it was annoying to have to keep going over to the side to stretch out even though I knew if I didn't that it would hurt worse later and even potentially do damage. Lydia was okay and even recommended it at one point. It was a bit frustrating to be otherwise fine but in a load of pain whenever I'd get into the right stance.
The finally drills were the starts from the ground again but this time we got more instruction on what we were doing. Unfortunately, I started having a coughing fit and then it felt like I was going to vomit and as I always feel worse after I vomit, I was determined to not let it happen. I had taken a lot of falls, a few more than normal probably, and was just beat. I hated that I wasn't able to finish out the drills but every time I started to get into position, the bad feelings all would resurface.
One of the bigger highlights of the day for me was the support that I was getting from my fellow skaters. I was having so many issues from the falling and the knock-kneed skating to my toe stops suddenly deciding that they should come out of my skates. They had been in so tight that I couldn't move them without a tool before practice. I know I should get someone to look at them as this has become ridiculous. They need to stop doing this. I've been very reluctant to get close to any of the other girls because of how badly I was hurt and rejected this past fall. I don't want to go through that again. I don't want girls with the same experience to tell me that I'm not athletic enough or that I'm too old to do derby. I don't want to feel like I belong to only have to turn around and pack up. I know rationally that this isn't going to be the case but it causes me to be more interested in talking with the MNRG skaters than with my fellow Debu-Taunts as the MNRG skaters are actively doing derby in a demanding league. I could handle getting advice from them. Today, not only were people supportive and asking if I was okay when I'd fall, but they were starting to offer advice. Yet the way they did it was so much different from this fall that I didn't feel the need to get defensive. I think the fact that there were only about 13 of us today made a huge difference. There were moments when I was the last one doing something (lots of falling again) that they would help me to push myself. If I was the last one doing the foot work drills, someone would jump into the next line and do it with me.
Another odd thing was at the end of practice, we gathered around. The girls who will be involved with this coming bout (pre-show and derby 101) were given information they needed and then were asked to put a skate in to win a comp ticket. At that point, I skated over to my stuff to get my gear away (I was also shaky and having a bit of chills). As I started to take my gear off, I noticed they were doing core work. I was torn between going over there and doing it and just ignoring it especially as I wasn't the only girl not over there. My body won and I just got packed up and slowly made my way out but a bit of me feels like an ass for not doing it. One thing that makes me feel a bit better is that I probably use my core more during the week at work than most girls do.
I will sadly be missing the next two weeks of practice due to work but will hopefully get out skating at least once a week if not more though as it's two big productions for the next two weeks, I'm not certain. If nothing else, I will be finding time to do some real dry land and not just "I'm at work and standing around so I'm going to do something useful for my core" dry land.
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Monday, March 28, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
On dry land
After a much needed break, I find myself back in the world of derby. Thanks to my friend Flick, who put up with my moodiness, I have become a part of the DebuTaunts, a recreational league of the Minnesota Rollergirls.
Work kept me from the first practice but I was there for the second one. Now, 3 days later, I'm able to manage stairs without wincing. It was probably the hardest workout I've ever had. Not only was it physically demanding but I had my nerves to deal with as well. First there was the fact that I'd be meeting new people which I can be shy around. I'd also missed a practice so I felt a week behind.
More importantly, this was my return to derby after a very bad fall. There was drama which I'm not going to go into now. It's past and I've gotten over it. However, with other things included, I was witted that I'd end up in the same place emotionally or I simply wouldn't like it.
I'm happy to report that not only do I like it but I love it. Even though I ended up in so much pain afterwards that existing hurt. I can't wait to see what happens when I'm skating derby again.
At the end of practice, they asked us to put down some long term and short term goals. Below are mine.
SHORT TERM: better balance, improved endurance (there was one more but I appear to have forgotten it)
LONG TERM: be able to dance on my skates with good balance, tryout for MNRG
I miss this up coming practice and so will be skating tomorrow to get back on my wheels.
Work kept me from the first practice but I was there for the second one. Now, 3 days later, I'm able to manage stairs without wincing. It was probably the hardest workout I've ever had. Not only was it physically demanding but I had my nerves to deal with as well. First there was the fact that I'd be meeting new people which I can be shy around. I'd also missed a practice so I felt a week behind.
More importantly, this was my return to derby after a very bad fall. There was drama which I'm not going to go into now. It's past and I've gotten over it. However, with other things included, I was witted that I'd end up in the same place emotionally or I simply wouldn't like it.
I'm happy to report that not only do I like it but I love it. Even though I ended up in so much pain afterwards that existing hurt. I can't wait to see what happens when I'm skating derby again.
At the end of practice, they asked us to put down some long term and short term goals. Below are mine.
SHORT TERM: better balance, improved endurance (there was one more but I appear to have forgotten it)
LONG TERM: be able to dance on my skates with good balance, tryout for MNRG
I miss this up coming practice and so will be skating tomorrow to get back on my wheels.
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Thursday, August 12, 2010
Getting back on my wheels
It's been a while since I've written and a lot has happened. It's been rough and I find that I am now in a completely different spot than I had originally even imagined I would ever be.
I continued working on skills and on skating. Tryouts were June 19th. The stars aligned in such a way that not only would I not be able to make either recruit practice that week but I would also have a 16 hour day two days before tryouts. Fate would also intervene and make it known to me that my skates were too big! (A side note to all new skaters: your skates should be a tight fit! My first pair felt comfortable, almost the same fit as my normal shoes. This was way too loose and caused me all kinds of foot cramping and other problems). Thankfully (or not), one of the other girls had decided to sell off an extra pair of skates she had on hand and they were my size. I managed to get them...the day before tryouts. Probably not the best idea to wear new skates just before tryouts but I wanted to make it through!
The good news is that I made it through tryouts and didn't die. It sure felt like it at times and I've never been able to fully recount what we did as I just can't remember everything. An amazing experience that I'm glad I had, though the emotions of it all didn't hit until well into the next day. I learned that I was an inspiration to other girls as every time I fell down, I got right back up. I wasn't very steady on my skates but they were brand new to me skates and I hadn't had a chance to fully get use to them.
There were 60 girls trying out that day and what a day it was. I woke up relaxed and in a zen state. There was nothing I could do to change anything at that point. I would not worry or regret or ponder what I could have done differently. Instead, I went and got some advice from Betty and then met up with N for a nice relaxing lunch before heading over to the hole.
It was intense and I knew I'd start crying if I did make it, not if I didn't. I didn't expect to make it this year. I hadn't been on skates very long and skating has been one of the hardest things I've ever done. Gracefulness isn't my strong point. I've seen new born animals that have better control of their limbs than I occasionally do when I'm *not* on skates. I am very happy and pleased that I made it through.
Then came the next few weeks.
Work picked up with a big show so I wasn't really able to skate but I also didn't want to skate. While I didn't think any of the new skates would treat me differently because they were now on the league and I wasn't, I didn't want to skate with them. My faults didn't need to be pointed out and advice wasn't what I was looking for right then. While I didn't imagine making the league (and maybe that was why I didn't but I know I just wasn't ready), I also didn't imagine the let down feeling I'd have afterwards. Perhaps it's because I came from a small high school and a smaller college but even when I didn't make the cut in an audition, I was still highly involved in the production. I had a part and I could play it, even if it tended to be more backstage than in front of the curtain. But with roller derby, it wasn't that easy. In less than a month, I could try to be a non-skating official but I'd have to go to the referee try-outs. Suddenly people who had no interest in being a NSO wanted to be one just so they could be a member of the league. I didn't feel that need to do something I wasn't interested in just in the off chance that I might get to skate. Not that this is against the girls who did do that but it wasn't the role I wanted to play.
So I found myself in a weird limbo of people who had once been recruits together and then were in different places. I suddenly didn't want to hear about the new skaters needing help with their names or all of the cool things that they were going to be doing. All I wanted to do was to find my little cave, pull myself into it and lick my wounds. But I didn't really have any wounds to lick. I just didn't want to be treated differently even though there was a difference. It wasn't really enough of a one to have caused the changes that I seemed to be seeing.
The life intervened and I found myself home earlier than I thought I'd be for a funeral. The entire time, I just wanted to skate. I hadn't skated at this point since tryouts which had been two weeks previous. Whenever I was asked by my family what I wanted to do, I automatically responded that I wanted to go skating. I did eventually get to go skating again and it felt so good. The skates weren't quite what I was use to and I was at a much higher elevation but it felt right to be on skates again.
When I got home, I started to look into my options. I decided to not try to be a NSO as I had just arrived back from Colorado and I wasn't in the right mindset to even try to be human. I had joined a mailing list for a new recreational league created by MNRG called the Debu-Taunts. This seemed like it was going to be the place for me to skate for the year. Sadly, once again fate decided to shuffle things around and practices are planned to be on Sundays. During the summer this isn't a problem but starting in mid-August until early October, my weekends are taken over by one of my earliest loves and obsessions: the renaissance festival. I work out there so I can't just decide to not go so I could skate. My commitment was already set to this shop. Add into the fact that after the renaissance festival, my real job starts to pick up and so I find myself working a lot of Sundays.
Frustrated that I just wouldn't be able to do derby, I started searching the web. There must be another league that was closer than Duluth. Sure enough I found one. Based out of Eau Claire, the Chippewa Valley Roller Girls were looking for skaters to join their league. It seemed simple enough. Contact them, come out to a practice, fill out some paperwork and pay dues and I'd be a member. As they are so new, they only have one bouting team at this point. Excited and curious if they'd really take a girl from Minnesota, I sent them off an email. Sure enough, so long as I could make practices, I was more than welcome to join them.
A week later found me driving out to Eau Claire. A bundle of nerves, I was excited and scared. Here was a bunch of girls I'd never met who were going to let me come join their league. Would they be so much better than me that they wouldn't want someone at my level? Would the fact that I was running late because of rush hour traffic and orange cone season count so horribly against me that I couldn't be involved? Would they all hate me? (Ah, middle school fears always like to pop up whenever they can.) Would I fall more than I normally do? (I think I actually managed to fall less than I normally do and I hadn't had a chance to change my outdoor wheels out.)
Silly fears pushed aside, I found myself skating with a wonderful group of women. Whenever we worked on a skill, one of them would glance over at me and ask if I knew what they meant. It's amazing how you eventually start to understand what people say through a mouth guard. The next two weeks were full of shows so I'd miss practice but I'd join them again last night.
Once again my life had it's own weird explosions and I wasn't able to skate from that first practice I went to until I strapped on my skates last night, three weeks later. To my surprise, skill tests were starting. I was nowhere near prepared! I had no idea, though I know I wasn't the only one. While I'd managed to have the right wheels on, I had a hard time skating at first. Three weeks of not skating seems to do that to a body. Add in the fact that I was nervous about not passing a simple skill test, I found that I was having all kinds of problems. Shaking, falling and having just a bad time in general. However, the longer I skated, the more I realized that this was for my own safety as well as just seeing where I was in my skills. This didn't mark me as a failure if I didn't pass and it allowed me to reevaluate where I was and what I needed to work on. By the end of practice, I was glad to be there and pumped for the next week, trying to figure out where I could skate to practice some of the things I need to work on. Most importantly though, I was glad to be back on my wheels even if I knew I'd soon hear a chorus of "I told you so".
I continued working on skills and on skating. Tryouts were June 19th. The stars aligned in such a way that not only would I not be able to make either recruit practice that week but I would also have a 16 hour day two days before tryouts. Fate would also intervene and make it known to me that my skates were too big! (A side note to all new skaters: your skates should be a tight fit! My first pair felt comfortable, almost the same fit as my normal shoes. This was way too loose and caused me all kinds of foot cramping and other problems). Thankfully (or not), one of the other girls had decided to sell off an extra pair of skates she had on hand and they were my size. I managed to get them...the day before tryouts. Probably not the best idea to wear new skates just before tryouts but I wanted to make it through!
The good news is that I made it through tryouts and didn't die. It sure felt like it at times and I've never been able to fully recount what we did as I just can't remember everything. An amazing experience that I'm glad I had, though the emotions of it all didn't hit until well into the next day. I learned that I was an inspiration to other girls as every time I fell down, I got right back up. I wasn't very steady on my skates but they were brand new to me skates and I hadn't had a chance to fully get use to them.
There were 60 girls trying out that day and what a day it was. I woke up relaxed and in a zen state. There was nothing I could do to change anything at that point. I would not worry or regret or ponder what I could have done differently. Instead, I went and got some advice from Betty and then met up with N for a nice relaxing lunch before heading over to the hole.
It was intense and I knew I'd start crying if I did make it, not if I didn't. I didn't expect to make it this year. I hadn't been on skates very long and skating has been one of the hardest things I've ever done. Gracefulness isn't my strong point. I've seen new born animals that have better control of their limbs than I occasionally do when I'm *not* on skates. I am very happy and pleased that I made it through.
Then came the next few weeks.
Work picked up with a big show so I wasn't really able to skate but I also didn't want to skate. While I didn't think any of the new skates would treat me differently because they were now on the league and I wasn't, I didn't want to skate with them. My faults didn't need to be pointed out and advice wasn't what I was looking for right then. While I didn't imagine making the league (and maybe that was why I didn't but I know I just wasn't ready), I also didn't imagine the let down feeling I'd have afterwards. Perhaps it's because I came from a small high school and a smaller college but even when I didn't make the cut in an audition, I was still highly involved in the production. I had a part and I could play it, even if it tended to be more backstage than in front of the curtain. But with roller derby, it wasn't that easy. In less than a month, I could try to be a non-skating official but I'd have to go to the referee try-outs. Suddenly people who had no interest in being a NSO wanted to be one just so they could be a member of the league. I didn't feel that need to do something I wasn't interested in just in the off chance that I might get to skate. Not that this is against the girls who did do that but it wasn't the role I wanted to play.
So I found myself in a weird limbo of people who had once been recruits together and then were in different places. I suddenly didn't want to hear about the new skaters needing help with their names or all of the cool things that they were going to be doing. All I wanted to do was to find my little cave, pull myself into it and lick my wounds. But I didn't really have any wounds to lick. I just didn't want to be treated differently even though there was a difference. It wasn't really enough of a one to have caused the changes that I seemed to be seeing.
The life intervened and I found myself home earlier than I thought I'd be for a funeral. The entire time, I just wanted to skate. I hadn't skated at this point since tryouts which had been two weeks previous. Whenever I was asked by my family what I wanted to do, I automatically responded that I wanted to go skating. I did eventually get to go skating again and it felt so good. The skates weren't quite what I was use to and I was at a much higher elevation but it felt right to be on skates again.
When I got home, I started to look into my options. I decided to not try to be a NSO as I had just arrived back from Colorado and I wasn't in the right mindset to even try to be human. I had joined a mailing list for a new recreational league created by MNRG called the Debu-Taunts. This seemed like it was going to be the place for me to skate for the year. Sadly, once again fate decided to shuffle things around and practices are planned to be on Sundays. During the summer this isn't a problem but starting in mid-August until early October, my weekends are taken over by one of my earliest loves and obsessions: the renaissance festival. I work out there so I can't just decide to not go so I could skate. My commitment was already set to this shop. Add into the fact that after the renaissance festival, my real job starts to pick up and so I find myself working a lot of Sundays.
Frustrated that I just wouldn't be able to do derby, I started searching the web. There must be another league that was closer than Duluth. Sure enough I found one. Based out of Eau Claire, the Chippewa Valley Roller Girls were looking for skaters to join their league. It seemed simple enough. Contact them, come out to a practice, fill out some paperwork and pay dues and I'd be a member. As they are so new, they only have one bouting team at this point. Excited and curious if they'd really take a girl from Minnesota, I sent them off an email. Sure enough, so long as I could make practices, I was more than welcome to join them.
A week later found me driving out to Eau Claire. A bundle of nerves, I was excited and scared. Here was a bunch of girls I'd never met who were going to let me come join their league. Would they be so much better than me that they wouldn't want someone at my level? Would the fact that I was running late because of rush hour traffic and orange cone season count so horribly against me that I couldn't be involved? Would they all hate me? (Ah, middle school fears always like to pop up whenever they can.) Would I fall more than I normally do? (I think I actually managed to fall less than I normally do and I hadn't had a chance to change my outdoor wheels out.)
Silly fears pushed aside, I found myself skating with a wonderful group of women. Whenever we worked on a skill, one of them would glance over at me and ask if I knew what they meant. It's amazing how you eventually start to understand what people say through a mouth guard. The next two weeks were full of shows so I'd miss practice but I'd join them again last night.
Once again my life had it's own weird explosions and I wasn't able to skate from that first practice I went to until I strapped on my skates last night, three weeks later. To my surprise, skill tests were starting. I was nowhere near prepared! I had no idea, though I know I wasn't the only one. While I'd managed to have the right wheels on, I had a hard time skating at first. Three weeks of not skating seems to do that to a body. Add in the fact that I was nervous about not passing a simple skill test, I found that I was having all kinds of problems. Shaking, falling and having just a bad time in general. However, the longer I skated, the more I realized that this was for my own safety as well as just seeing where I was in my skills. This didn't mark me as a failure if I didn't pass and it allowed me to reevaluate where I was and what I needed to work on. By the end of practice, I was glad to be there and pumped for the next week, trying to figure out where I could skate to practice some of the things I need to work on. Most importantly though, I was glad to be back on my wheels even if I knew I'd soon hear a chorus of "I told you so".
Thursday, May 27, 2010
A Rose by Any Other Name
It seems that one of the most important parts to new recruits is finding the perfect derby name. It can also be one of the hardest things to come up with. There's a whole page dedicated to derby names. You can then try out a name to see if it's taken and what the odds are of your name being accepted. For many it's hard because all of the "good" names are taken. Derby has been around for a while and most of the clever things have been thought of and been taken by another girl. This doesn't mean that there aren't other possibilities. It just means you have to think harder about it.
What's the deal with the names anyways? For a lot of people, it helps them create a personality to go with them on the track and in their skates. For me, I like the idea of being a little more anonymous. Not everyone in the world needs to know my name. Besides, due to the popularity of my first name with when I was born, I have a hard time responding to my name. Not that I dislike my name! I love my name. It's just not that exciting to have a crowd chant. It also helps give a barrier between the public and me. It's a stage name, a character and a separation in my personal life as well. My derby self can be as naughty or as nice as I want her to be and it isn't me. I'm an actual person while my derby self and image is more of a two dimensional caricature of an idea than an actual person.
Do I have my perfect name yet? I do actually. Managed to think it up (or rather, finish it up) this afternoon. I'm not ready to share the whole thing with the internet yet but it will involve the name Ferret (a name I use out at the Renaissance festival and seem to respond to better than my given name). I've managed to not only find a name that has a good chance of being accepted, it's also a play on who I am in real life as well.
It makes you wonder about the story behind the names of the other girls.
What's the deal with the names anyways? For a lot of people, it helps them create a personality to go with them on the track and in their skates. For me, I like the idea of being a little more anonymous. Not everyone in the world needs to know my name. Besides, due to the popularity of my first name with when I was born, I have a hard time responding to my name. Not that I dislike my name! I love my name. It's just not that exciting to have a crowd chant. It also helps give a barrier between the public and me. It's a stage name, a character and a separation in my personal life as well. My derby self can be as naughty or as nice as I want her to be and it isn't me. I'm an actual person while my derby self and image is more of a two dimensional caricature of an idea than an actual person.
Do I have my perfect name yet? I do actually. Managed to think it up (or rather, finish it up) this afternoon. I'm not ready to share the whole thing with the internet yet but it will involve the name Ferret (a name I use out at the Renaissance festival and seem to respond to better than my given name). I've managed to not only find a name that has a good chance of being accepted, it's also a play on who I am in real life as well.
It makes you wonder about the story behind the names of the other girls.
I'm not unapproachable, I'm just shy
Before the North Star Roller Girls clinics started, there were some meet and greets. I sadly wasn't able to make any of them for a variety of reasons. Unfortunately, one of the reasons was do to how shy I can be. Those who know me well are probably laughing at that statement but I am truly shy. Get me into a situation where I'm not in my comfort zone and don't know a lot of people and I get really shy. Not horribly anxious about it but I'll either get really, really, really, really chatty or I'll not say much. I've been taken as being too serious before because I didn't join in and joke but it wasn't being too serious. No, it was a cause of being too shy.
So now we're into clinics. The first two were cancelled on account of Mother Nature thinking it'd be fun to give us March weather in May. The first one to happen was on a day I had to work in the evening (downside to working in theatre is having to work events; it sometimes means passing on things I'd rather be doing.) So I finally make it to the second one, last Thursday. I had the day off, so I was able to relax and have a good day before heading over to the Oval. It was a good time and I knew a handful of the girls there but I didn't really talk to a lot of other people there. Not that there is a lot of time to be talking but I didn't.
This past Monday there was a clinic. I felt the familiar knot of fear in my gut that people wouldn't like me or that I'd look like a fool or that I wouldn't just fit in. There is a long history to this knot. The joys of middle school. It made me terrified to go to pretty much anywhere new as I feared everyone would outright hate me even without knowing me. Of course they *didn't* but it seems that this idea is still planted in my head. So Monday I got to the Oval feeling nervous which probably did lead to some of my less than stellar skating. My skating buddy (we started skating together back in February) wasn't going to be there and while I knew/recognized some of the girls, there was that fear that they wouldn't want anything to do with me. There was also the fear that I wouldn't be able to skate. The first month of skating was met with a weird mix of fear and exhilarated at the idea of putting on skates. Would I fall down? Would I be able to move forward? Would I get onto the floor without anyone killing me?
Today's clinic once again found me feeling nervous. I don't know what to talk about with people other than derby as that's the only thing we currently have in common. Does everyone want to keep talking about derby or would they rather talk about something else? Thankfully not only are most people interested in getting as much time in skating as possible. It also helped that not only was my skating buddy there but the people "responsible" for getting me hooked also came out to skate. Knowing even a handful of people and actually *knowing* them put me much more at ease.
I keep meaning to go out and spend time with some of the other recruits but with tryouts fast approaching (6 more clinics until tryouts!), everyone wants to be skating as much as possible. I should be skating more than I am but I just don't have the time right now. Add into the reality that skating at the rinks starts to add up after a while, and I'm just not able to do it. I want to do derby though. Maybe not skating this season but hopefully next season. This isn't even taking into consideration whether or not I'd fit into the league and have the skills they need.
I wonder how many of the other recruits feel the same way I do? Maybe they all do and they just have a better facade.
So now we're into clinics. The first two were cancelled on account of Mother Nature thinking it'd be fun to give us March weather in May. The first one to happen was on a day I had to work in the evening (downside to working in theatre is having to work events; it sometimes means passing on things I'd rather be doing.) So I finally make it to the second one, last Thursday. I had the day off, so I was able to relax and have a good day before heading over to the Oval. It was a good time and I knew a handful of the girls there but I didn't really talk to a lot of other people there. Not that there is a lot of time to be talking but I didn't.
This past Monday there was a clinic. I felt the familiar knot of fear in my gut that people wouldn't like me or that I'd look like a fool or that I wouldn't just fit in. There is a long history to this knot. The joys of middle school. It made me terrified to go to pretty much anywhere new as I feared everyone would outright hate me even without knowing me. Of course they *didn't* but it seems that this idea is still planted in my head. So Monday I got to the Oval feeling nervous which probably did lead to some of my less than stellar skating. My skating buddy (we started skating together back in February) wasn't going to be there and while I knew/recognized some of the girls, there was that fear that they wouldn't want anything to do with me. There was also the fear that I wouldn't be able to skate. The first month of skating was met with a weird mix of fear and exhilarated at the idea of putting on skates. Would I fall down? Would I be able to move forward? Would I get onto the floor without anyone killing me?
Today's clinic once again found me feeling nervous. I don't know what to talk about with people other than derby as that's the only thing we currently have in common. Does everyone want to keep talking about derby or would they rather talk about something else? Thankfully not only are most people interested in getting as much time in skating as possible. It also helped that not only was my skating buddy there but the people "responsible" for getting me hooked also came out to skate. Knowing even a handful of people and actually *knowing* them put me much more at ease.
I keep meaning to go out and spend time with some of the other recruits but with tryouts fast approaching (6 more clinics until tryouts!), everyone wants to be skating as much as possible. I should be skating more than I am but I just don't have the time right now. Add into the reality that skating at the rinks starts to add up after a while, and I'm just not able to do it. I want to do derby though. Maybe not skating this season but hopefully next season. This isn't even taking into consideration whether or not I'd fit into the league and have the skills they need.
I wonder how many of the other recruits feel the same way I do? Maybe they all do and they just have a better facade.
Falling
When I first started skating, I didn't use any safety equipment. No wrist guards, elbow or knee pads. Albeit, at that point, most of my falling was onto my backside. However, I think I could have pushed myself harder if I'd had those pieces of equipment. To know how far you can go, you have to push past that point. When pushing past that point means falling, you're less likely to try it.
At the end of March I finally got all of my gear. The difference was amazing. I could fall and it didn't hurt! It's not perfect but I could fall on my knees and not really feel it. I decided to buy 187 knee pads which have a lot of padding on them. To quote one derby lady I know, it's like "falling on baby Jesus kittens." In a way, it's pretty much like that. It also gave me more confidence. I was willing to push harder and found that I was much more likely to fall forward than I had been.
Monday was a brutally hot day. A large group of us showed up for the NSRG clinic. I don't know if it was just one of those days or if the hot weather had anything to do with it but I didn't seem to be able to do anything properly, even falling. I had a couple of "good" falls (forward, on my knees, pulling myself in) but then I just started to fall. I actually had to adjust my knee pads as I fell hard enough to knock it off center. I fell when people passed me, when I tried to work on crossovers and once I think I just fell while standing still. The place that the clinics are held is outdoors. This is not as nice of a surface to fall on and I'm even more grateful that I got the 187's with their extra big padding. The ground doesn't give as much as the skating floors. I left Monday feeling rather sore from all the falling, even with my "Baby Jesus Kittens" knee pads. I went home and iced my knee.
Today I still managed to fall (knee taps are harder than they appear; I need to work on control and not just let myself fall to my knee) but they were better falls. I feel once on my backside but it didn't feel as bad as the multiple times I did that on Monday. The really encouraging thing is not only do people check with you to see if you're alright (which makes me a little embarrassed especially when it's something really stupid that caused me to fall) but they also tell you that you're trying.
Sometimes falling means you're not balanced right or you're spending too much time looking at your feet. Sometimes it's just a sign that it's an off day. The times that I like falling are when it's because I'm pushing myself. I'm working on a new skill or trying harder to master one that I've been introduced to. This sort of falling is almost encouraged because it means you are trying. It's not the reckless showing off that some members of society like to do (I'm currently reminded of a group of young men who tried to out do each other on rental skates at one of the local rinks).
It'll be interesting to see what it's like to fall because someone got a good check on me...
At the end of March I finally got all of my gear. The difference was amazing. I could fall and it didn't hurt! It's not perfect but I could fall on my knees and not really feel it. I decided to buy 187 knee pads which have a lot of padding on them. To quote one derby lady I know, it's like "falling on baby Jesus kittens." In a way, it's pretty much like that. It also gave me more confidence. I was willing to push harder and found that I was much more likely to fall forward than I had been.
Monday was a brutally hot day. A large group of us showed up for the NSRG clinic. I don't know if it was just one of those days or if the hot weather had anything to do with it but I didn't seem to be able to do anything properly, even falling. I had a couple of "good" falls (forward, on my knees, pulling myself in) but then I just started to fall. I actually had to adjust my knee pads as I fell hard enough to knock it off center. I fell when people passed me, when I tried to work on crossovers and once I think I just fell while standing still. The place that the clinics are held is outdoors. This is not as nice of a surface to fall on and I'm even more grateful that I got the 187's with their extra big padding. The ground doesn't give as much as the skating floors. I left Monday feeling rather sore from all the falling, even with my "Baby Jesus Kittens" knee pads. I went home and iced my knee.
Today I still managed to fall (knee taps are harder than they appear; I need to work on control and not just let myself fall to my knee) but they were better falls. I feel once on my backside but it didn't feel as bad as the multiple times I did that on Monday. The really encouraging thing is not only do people check with you to see if you're alright (which makes me a little embarrassed especially when it's something really stupid that caused me to fall) but they also tell you that you're trying.
Sometimes falling means you're not balanced right or you're spending too much time looking at your feet. Sometimes it's just a sign that it's an off day. The times that I like falling are when it's because I'm pushing myself. I'm working on a new skill or trying harder to master one that I've been introduced to. This sort of falling is almost encouraged because it means you are trying. It's not the reckless showing off that some members of society like to do (I'm currently reminded of a group of young men who tried to out do each other on rental skates at one of the local rinks).
It'll be interesting to see what it's like to fall because someone got a good check on me...
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Injuries and Illness
The past two weeks have been very tough. Ignoring the fact that where I work can be very demanding at times and that the past week was no exception to that truth, I've skated once in the last two and a half weeks. While this has been amazingly frustrating, it's given me some time to think and it's probably been better in the long run.
In any given sport, injuries are a given. Derby is no different. I've been to bouts where I've witnessed girls getting hit hard and landing even harder. The lucky ones spring back up and are fine. The not so lucky ones find themselves with broken bones or bloody noses. Given that I'm not a fan of pain, I occasionally question why I want to do derby so badly given how real injuries can be. Honestly, I'm not sure I can put down on words what it is that is driving me. However, I can say that it is a drive. This is the first time I've truly wanted something and pushed for it in years. I find myself dreaming about derby. There are certain songs that are songs that I feel the need to skate to, even when I'm nowhere near a skating rink.
Knowing that injuries are a reality means that they can be prepared for or at least lessened. This means skating in proper form and falling in proper form. It also means not skating when breathing is difficult hence my lack of skating recently (it seems that the most stressful week of the semester means I should also catch a virus going around that turns out to give nasty secondary infections; hello sinus infection, good-bye good health.)
Pushing through the pain is sometimes a good thing as you are trying to push yourself. Two minutes doesn't seem that long until you're in a jam that could win the game. You can't slow down and you can't just "sit it out" until you've got your breath. (I did see a girl leave a jam after she'd been landed on by a few blockers and she had a bloody nose; no, the jam didn't stop for her.) However, there is a line there. If you can't sit up on the couch without having a 10 minute coughing fit, then maybe you shouldn't be skating. It's frustrating and feels like quitting but the reality is that the body needs to heal.
The same is true of muscle aches. There's been talk on the recruiting message boards about how much is too much and how much of a break should you give yourself and your muscles before pushing forward. It's been interesting to read and helpful. The most repeated thing is that rest is good as it helps the body actually build the muscles that it suddenly finds itself using. Hydration and stretching have also been emphasized greatly.
The last time I was skating, I took a couple of falls, mostly to avoid small children who seem to believe that you'll stop and not run over them because they are small children. A few times, the safest thing to do was to fall. Most of my falls, while not forward, which is better, were at least to the side and not straight onto my back side. However, one of them was really impressive and made me realize I was pushing too hard and no longer had the strength to keep going. Was I good and did I stretch everything out really well? Nope. I was tired and hungry and had to go pick up some bird cages. I felt my left hamstring start to tighten up but I still ignored it. I then spent the week slowly stretching it while applying heat when I could. I was lucky that it wasn't something worse; that I didn't sprain or pull it though maybe I did and I just knew I didn't have the option to stay off of it due to work so I figured out how to work around it. I have sprained a muscle before and so I'm fairly certain that this wasn't the case with the hamstring but boy did I spend the week wishing I'd actually stretching it out nice and good at the time! Just over a week later and I'm finally feeling completely comfortable again.
These are all tools to help us maintain and improve our bodies so when we do go down, it's not for the count. Hopefully it's in a "really cool one knee drop and get back up without loosing speed" sort of way. We aren't always that lucky but at least by learning how and training in the right way, I can avoid future major hurts. It's better to sit out and take a breather now than find out I can make it to try-outs because I pushed too hard or fell the wrong way because I was in too big of a hurry to get better.
In any given sport, injuries are a given. Derby is no different. I've been to bouts where I've witnessed girls getting hit hard and landing even harder. The lucky ones spring back up and are fine. The not so lucky ones find themselves with broken bones or bloody noses. Given that I'm not a fan of pain, I occasionally question why I want to do derby so badly given how real injuries can be. Honestly, I'm not sure I can put down on words what it is that is driving me. However, I can say that it is a drive. This is the first time I've truly wanted something and pushed for it in years. I find myself dreaming about derby. There are certain songs that are songs that I feel the need to skate to, even when I'm nowhere near a skating rink.
Knowing that injuries are a reality means that they can be prepared for or at least lessened. This means skating in proper form and falling in proper form. It also means not skating when breathing is difficult hence my lack of skating recently (it seems that the most stressful week of the semester means I should also catch a virus going around that turns out to give nasty secondary infections; hello sinus infection, good-bye good health.)
Pushing through the pain is sometimes a good thing as you are trying to push yourself. Two minutes doesn't seem that long until you're in a jam that could win the game. You can't slow down and you can't just "sit it out" until you've got your breath. (I did see a girl leave a jam after she'd been landed on by a few blockers and she had a bloody nose; no, the jam didn't stop for her.) However, there is a line there. If you can't sit up on the couch without having a 10 minute coughing fit, then maybe you shouldn't be skating. It's frustrating and feels like quitting but the reality is that the body needs to heal.
The same is true of muscle aches. There's been talk on the recruiting message boards about how much is too much and how much of a break should you give yourself and your muscles before pushing forward. It's been interesting to read and helpful. The most repeated thing is that rest is good as it helps the body actually build the muscles that it suddenly finds itself using. Hydration and stretching have also been emphasized greatly.
The last time I was skating, I took a couple of falls, mostly to avoid small children who seem to believe that you'll stop and not run over them because they are small children. A few times, the safest thing to do was to fall. Most of my falls, while not forward, which is better, were at least to the side and not straight onto my back side. However, one of them was really impressive and made me realize I was pushing too hard and no longer had the strength to keep going. Was I good and did I stretch everything out really well? Nope. I was tired and hungry and had to go pick up some bird cages. I felt my left hamstring start to tighten up but I still ignored it. I then spent the week slowly stretching it while applying heat when I could. I was lucky that it wasn't something worse; that I didn't sprain or pull it though maybe I did and I just knew I didn't have the option to stay off of it due to work so I figured out how to work around it. I have sprained a muscle before and so I'm fairly certain that this wasn't the case with the hamstring but boy did I spend the week wishing I'd actually stretching it out nice and good at the time! Just over a week later and I'm finally feeling completely comfortable again.
These are all tools to help us maintain and improve our bodies so when we do go down, it's not for the count. Hopefully it's in a "really cool one knee drop and get back up without loosing speed" sort of way. We aren't always that lucky but at least by learning how and training in the right way, I can avoid future major hurts. It's better to sit out and take a breather now than find out I can make it to try-outs because I pushed too hard or fell the wrong way because I was in too big of a hurry to get better.
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