Vast improvements

Last week, the fall Debs session started up. We met and went over paperwork and the by-laws as well as rule number one (don't be a douche). There was socializing and hanging out with people which was nice. I haven't seen most of these women since June.

Today we had our first on skates practice. I'll admit to being nervous about going back to derby practice. Skating by myself or in a group isn't that difficult because there's no one standing there yelling at me about what I'm doing wrong or telling me to push harder. It's also considered bad form to do derby drills at an open skate. I knew that some girls had been skating over the summer and others, like myself, hadn't had time to do such. There were also new girls, who were probably going to run the spectrum of ability.

Before going to practice, I pulled out my skates and put back on my indoor wheels. I adjusted my toe stops, which I've been meaning to do since about May, and put in new laces. I think I was nearly bouncing with excitement. I got there with enough time to get my gear on and skate around the concourse a few times. We have practice in two main places; the Roy, where the MNRG bouts are held, and the Xcel concourse. I like them both for different reasons. As I was skating around, I heard my name shouted out and looked over my shoulder to see one of the skaters trying to catch up with me. It greatly amused me that I was going so fast that someone had to catch up. This wasn't exactly new but it still felt awesome.

As practice started, we divided up into where we thought we should be placed. As much as I'd love to say I'm really comfortable in my skates and should be moved up, I know that I'm not. There are still things I struggle with but I'm not going to die on my skates. After doing a brief introduction (I did get a little bored and distracted towards the end of that; there are a lot of us!), our 4 groups set out to our various stations.

I'm happy to report that the coaches I did talk to were all very pleased with how much I've improved. I know that I feel so much more confident on my skates. Something recently has clicked that tells my brain that I AM a roller girl and can do this. It's really two things. One: out at ren fest, we've also had it somewhere that you can buy soap from a derby girl and that's never been me but this year I can say that! Two: all of us are being recognized as athletes in the by-laws. I've never considered myself an athlete but leading up to the start of practice, I've started to challenge myself with physical activities. I'm working on being able to do 100 push-ups in a row (eventually that'll even be 100 "real" push-ups and not just knee push-ups) and I've done some ceilidh dancing. I've invested in a jump rope to work on cardio and well, jumping.

Right now, I'm sore and I know that not only tomorrow but that the next day are going to be sore ones but I'm loving the fact that I got a hard work-out and that I'm getting to know my fellow skaters more. It fills me with all kinds of warm and squishy feelings.

Excuses, excuses, excuses

When it comes to making excuses, I may well be a goddess in the art. Oftentimes, in my own mind at least, I feel I'm simply trying to explain things to the people outside of my head. No, there aren't people inside of it but I'm not exactly normal when it comes to the hows and whys of doing things. I believe that this bad habit of excuses, since that's really what they are, goes back to my childhood. There was always some reason why I couldn't do something and I usually came up with a story to explain it. People listened to my stories and I think that simply encouraged me. I don't need to be encouraged.

A couple of weeks ago was my first time skating since June 7th. I know that I'm not the only one in my league to put of skating. It's sometimes hard to be motivated when there's no one there to remind you (usually through yelling) that you need to be skating more often. My excuse? I got really sick twice and was busy with work and travel. Add into this the weird and wet weather Minnesota has been having and there was always an excuse to not be skating.

True, there are times where I physically couldn't breathe, let alone skate but often I just decided that I'd simply use an excuse. So while out skating with a derby friend, she noticed that I was skating knock kneed. Again. As always. As I tried to correct it, it came out that I didn't have the additional arch supports in them. I started to explain (short version: there was an exploding cucumber) and realized that it was just another excuse. I believe I came to this realization as my friend was most likely rolling her eyes at me. Or telling me to stop making excuses. I honestly don't remember that detail anymore. What I do remember is that I make a lot of excuses. Some are valid (I can't skate today because I am working/on my death bed/made other commitments) but most of them are absolute crap (I can't do this because I suck/aren't athletic/clumsy/better at falling). I make excuses so I don't have to try as hard. It's yet another mental block that I'm working on conquering.

So far, I've stopped making excuses about dry land. I've never been good at running or push ups (I'm still not convinced that I do them *right*) and have always made excuses why. Blame it on middle school and high school (probably even back to elementary school) where the only way to be "good" was to overachieve and rock at sports which I never did. Hello Lack of Confidence. Glad to see you go.

What am I doing then that isn't an excuse? I own a jump rope now and have taken to jumping rope when I find myself standing around waiting for someone and in a place with a high (or no) ceiling. If I know I'm not going to just be standing around and I'm at work, I use part of my lunch break to spend a few minutes jumping rope. It's a lot harder than I remember and I can't quite do it for a minute yet but I am working up to it. I've also downloaded some apps onto my phone to work on push ups, sit ups and squats as well as having other ab workouts at my finger tips. I've done the second day of the push ups and the first day of the sit ups. Tomorrow I do the first day of the squats.

Now if I can just go to one of those trust camps with my body and teach myself that I can trust myself, I think this season of Debs will be awesome.